They truly are…..
I started writing this blog post at 8:20am. Because of a day that took a change when I received a DM from a journalist at 10:07am. I had to stop. (But I will NOT Stop) We will get back to that part.
Now where were we? Oh yes.. White Women’s Tears are Dangerous…
“I’d love to get this episode out there soon as to not loose traction on BLM” (speaking about being on her podcast)
“I was supporting my friend who was called out because I do truly know her heart….No one else was standing up for her”
Performance Allyship is alive and R E A L. The above words are those of Beautiful Event Rentals owner Cam Petty Palmer. My response was instant to this. Even after my steady pattern of ignoring her request as a podcast guest. I said, “ I’m not a pawn to use for traction. It should never loose traction and never will. Now if it looses traction with your audience this means you are not doing something right within your brand, business and life.I ended the conversation by saying:
And this is something you should of been doing and having these conversations BEFORE it was something that was “ on trend” because I know I sure have.
Cammie immediately responded that she was sorry and of course she didn’t mean it that way. Sorry, but she meant exactly what she said.
10 weeks ago black boxes flooded Instagram feeds. Marches & Protests were heard around our City. The saying “Amplify Black Voices” “Muted, Listening & Learning” was under Influencers, Bloggers, Brands and Businesses curated pictures. Event for Change was a trend a topic that was going strong. June 2020 was the month of LEARNING & UNLEARNING. It’s now August.
Event for Change…
June when it was cool to have these “uncomfortable conversations”I received a phone call and email from Jill the owner of Lushra. During this time Jill wanted to “open the conversation and learn from me and ask me a few questions.”
She mentioned she would love to set up a balloon installation at Klyde Warren Park that Friday to open conversation and get people to donate, but she was worried that people would think she was making it about Lushra. And she wanted my opinion on navigating this.
(Let me say, I have never had any issues with Lushra. I do not dislike them. But I do believe they need to be held accountable.)I said cool, we chatted and then she sent an email out that included myself, Dallasites 101,Leah Frazier, Kelsey Williams and a few others.
Within this email it highlighted each person involved- strength. Under my name it said: Your voice and platform in the black community is strong. Your event background and TEDx speaking background is huge.
To be honest I was sort of set back when she said “Your voice and platform in the black community is strong.” I wanted to say, “Sweetheart, my voice and platform is strong in ALL the communities.” I let it slide…
Why do we do this? Why do we shy away from correcting white women. Why is this so uncomfortable for Black Women?
Long story short I removed myself from the event. Not because of those words. But because of Dallasites 101 involvement. (which is another blog on another day)
So I’m scrolling through IG-take a peek at Lushra’s page…and I see no diversity. I see no signs of the event this brand was so adamant about hosting. And I said something.
Inconsistency + insincerity
When I said something…I shook the table. But you know the funny thing about the table is. I can build the table. I can bring people to the table. I can shake the table…Hell I can even turn the table upside down. This is so important that we realized we do not have to wait to be included at others table. Build your damn own.
I made a post about 3 Days ago. You can find it here. And I shared that the buzz was dying down. I could feel it, I could see it. I mentioned “Im not seeing the pretty little balloon company Lushra create that “Event for Change” they were so passionate about doing 7 weeks ago.
I explained I’m not seeing the “movement’ so many were saying they were committed to being part of. Proving it was a moment. And its not a moment.
White Women do not like to get called out.
And they do not like you to call their friends out. Immediately Cammie of Beautiful Event Rentals made a comment on the post. The reason for her comment was “I’m taking up for my friend. Because nobody else was.”
Don’t get me wrong its a beautiful thing to defend your friends. The issue I had with Cammie…was her attempt to try to Deflect & being Tone Deaf to my words & valid feelings. (The Gaslighting came later)
Brands, Influencers, Bloggers, Businesses etc. Must be held accountable. Even if those people happen to be your “friends” Standing up for peoples inconsistencies and insecurities when it comes to Diversity, Equality, Racism, Identity and Race. I will no longer tolerate.
So I shared the text message Cammie sent me to my stories. Immediately she called me a bully. Because I posted HER words. Not words I made up, not words I wrote, but hers. I also called her a couple of times before I posted them on my Stories. She declined to pickup. Because she said, “I was with my kids getting them ready for the day” (Yet she was still commenting and engaging with my stories (this she had time for)
White FRAGILITY…
Playing the victim is always common in these situations. I was “talking back” She ended the conversation (well I thought it had ended) by saying, It was sad to see me have time to blast people who don’t deserve it.
She Deserved It.
The following day, Sunday when I hosting my floral workshop I received the notification below:
That’s right my account was reported for Bully/Harassment. The IG stories… had triggered this person. Please know holding people accountable for their words do not equal being a bully.
For so long Black people have had to bite their tongue. Mind their words and make sure they say the right thing. Not only black people. People of Color period.WOMEN ESPECIALLY
Today.. Monday at 10:07am I was informed by D Magazine that a fake profile on Instagram had been made and followed them. The page was called theimanproject_is_ a_ bully.
Of-course it was a fake page. And my tribe came through VERY quickly.
TRUE examples of what a White Ally is filled my email, DMs & Text messages.
I’m writing this blog right now for many reasons. But the number one reason is because I want people to stop being afraid to speak up. To show up even when you know and do recieve backlash. Your voice is your power. Use it. Even when it shakes. Use it.
White People…Listen to Black People.
I say over and over again. We can only grow if we
Listen. Learn & Unite
i’m Tired
I’m a fighter. I always have been. I was molested when I was 7. Raped when I was 13. Beaten for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner in my early 20s by my ex. In & out of Prison/Jail MULTIPLE times. Homeless & much more. That did not break me. A fake IG page will not break me. But I am tired. I am exhausted. But has my beautiful friend of GAIA For Women reminded me: You are built to handle the pressure that comes with your calling.
I am strong. I will not stop. I will keep fighting for myself. And for those who may not have the strength to do so right at this moment. Because this is my calling.
